Hellooo? Ballu is theere?

As seen above (can it be?), I am a jokey-jokey type of person only. This is silliness spouting because I am scared to start blogging, but have been agonising and procrastinating over the idea so long that I feel I must start now, else I never will. Also, I tend to write long sentences. Bachpan se hi. Hence, some people thought I would ‘definitely be a writer’ and some others thought that’s precisely why I’d never be. Frankly, I didn’t want to be a writer (in the professional, full-time, ‘only’ sense), so I didn’t really care what people were saying. I kept writing long sentence-paragraphs. (I also flirted with poetry, writing, in more than one language, btw. It was a joke.)

Then I got tired of writing. That was in the last two years of school. Why, I don’t know. I think mebbe because that’s when life started getting really kombligated, and I couldn’t put everything into words anymore because it took tooo much time and mind and heart-space which I was already putting into other (the complicated) stuff anyway.

Then I went to college, and found I was having trouble writing. Not speaking nor thinking complicated idea-worlds up, but writing. I wrote when I had to, and pretty fast at that. But I didn’t enjoy it anymore, like I did until the age of fifteen years or so.

And this continues. I write, it’s a sizable part of my work and has been for a few years now. But I’m always scared of it. I feel nervous about it, especially about what people will think of it.

I’ve read a lot of other blogs, especially by people I know, am or have been close to. They all write so well. So simply, yet beautifully. I worry that how I write or even what I have to say may not really be worth saying. Plus, is there any point really – saying anything at all? I mean, having said and done a lot, and having found most of it to’ve been pointless, it’s a valid concern for me to harbour – no?

The maximum I manage to venture is status messages on fb. Mostly to do with food. And then friends started saying I should blog – at least about food. The food I cook. And that made the prospect of writing less scary. I can write about food. At least I’ll be saying something worthwhile. Sharing something of use, as it were. Food is relevant. Always. As are poor jokes, apparently.

Forgive the very arbit introductory post. It will get better, I promise. I’m just entering the building.

Yours unsurely.

T

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Comments
2 Responses to “Hellooo? Ballu is theere?”
  1. Shoba Sriaiyer says:

    This observation resonates with me: “Also, I tend to write long sentences. Bachpan se hi. Hence, some people thought I would ‘definitely be a writer’ and some others thought that’s precisely why I’d never be.”

    You clearly don’t do that anymore, Taranga.

    All too often folks associate wordy, lengthy writing with good writing…

    • tarangasr says:

      Thanks, Akka! You are very kind 🙂 But I do write rather stream-of-consciousness, no? Many people have trouble following my speech itself. Haha. I’m glad you understand, though 🙂 I’m enjoying writing here, actually. Hope to put up some photos, too, soon.

      It was great to see you at the wedding. So sorry we couldn’t chat properly. When I visit Mumbai, surely we will.

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